It's All About Balance

Well, here I am. The pendulum has once again swung to the other side. While I desperately needed spaciousness from work around the same time Grant got sick, I’m now finding myself becoming (do I dare say it?) bored.

I, Tracy Bautista, do hereby fully claim the need for more structure in my life. And, oh yeah, I don’t want to lose my spaciousness either.

Admitting this urge to gain more structure in my life, while maintaining spaciousness has caused me to notice my inherent need for some type of equilibrium. My former life as an executive is not what I want; yet I know I need more structure than I have now. It’s all about balance – that ever elusive state of wellness.

So many of us tend to try to find this equilibrium by trying to hold the pendulum where it feels right at the time. It ain’t gonna stay there, sister! Things go out of kilter in nature and also our in our lives. Call it “organized chaos.” Supposedly there is a beautiful pattern to all of this chaos. While this pattern of concentric circles or spider webs or whatever pattern it beholds may have beauty, it still sucks. Amidst this land of ick and discomfort, our lives swing in so many ways – mental, physical, spiritual and social elements of our lives get out of whack; we live either on the spectrum of the masculine or only on the feminine; we lean towards exhaustion or laziness; structure and spaciousness…you get the picture. Of course any time we stay in one of these areas for too long, that damned organized chaos kicks in again and sure enough, we swing to the other end of the spectrum. Hence, where I find myself now.

This morning I did my yoga practice on balancing poses. I was struck my something the instructor said. He noted, “be gentle with yourself, forgive yourself, let it go if you are unable to hold the pose.” He then went on to note how tree pose, just like a tree, does sway in the wind. Its fluid movements come as a direct response to the environmental changes around it.

This fluid dance of the tree pose made me stop to ponder to what degree am I allowing myself to fluidly move in response to my surroundings? If balance is not a permanent state, but a constant flow, I cannot expect myself to stay put in any one place for long. The ideal is to respond to the invitation to find a new state of equilibrium. I need to heed this call for more structure and also honor the desire for some spaciousness too.

I also noted one of the keys in balancing poses – find your focal point in front of your gaze and hold it constant. This focal point provides a means of centering and constancy amidst the wobbles and bobbles of the pose. How appropriate this concept is in our daily lives as well! When I’m pushed and nearly falling due to events and people around me, what is my focal point? That “something” that holds my gaze and centers me? Now that I see the connection between the focal point to my daily balance, it all makes sense. My focal point is the vision of my future self – the badass speaker and author who is an inspired teacher for women leaders around the world.

As I venture into this next change in the elements around me and respond fluidly to the pull towards more structure in my life, I will keep my gaze centered on that inspired teacher off in the distance.

As you go about your day today, I invite you to consider how the limbs of the tree of your life are responding to the elements around you. Also consider where your gaze is held. Are you focused on the vision of your future self?

Procrastination

....I'm still working on this one...